Outsiders

as an outsider, one often finds themself on the periphery of societal norms and expectations.

this position, while challenging, offers a unique vantage point from which to observe the world. outsiders can see the intricacies of social dynamics w/o being fully enmeshed in them, allowing for a clearer understanding of behavior and social constructs.

however, the outsider status can also lead to feelings of isolation and alienation. being labeled as an outsider can create barriers to connection and understanding, making it difficult to form meaningful relationships.

pair this with a language barrier, and the result is me. and in this case, with a profound sense of otherness.

i missed my friends, teammates, classmates, and most importantly, a familiar routine. the academic environment here was vastly different from what i was accustomed to. i don't want to get to into it, but school here wasn't even really school. i "attended" a dummy school for 11th/12th graders to prepare for my boards exams in 12th grade while simultaneously taking academic coaching to prepare for the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE) for engineering colleges in India.

it's a system in which extracirriculars and hobbies aren't valued until after you start your undergrad. to some extent, it's pretty neat and you can't really game the system. but it felt so limiting. i felt like i was being boxed in, and my potential was being stifled. in the next 2 years, i'll essentially eat, sleep, and dream physics, chemistry, and math.

anyway, i won't dwell on the bad. Vinod Khosla, Sundar Pichai, Satya Nadella, and Aravind Srinivas all did the same thing. they made it out fine. so will i (🤞).

but it's not all bad. being an outsider has its perks. it allows for a fresh perspective, unencumbered by preconceived notions and biases. outsiders can challenge the status quo and bring new ideas to the table. they can be catalysts for change, pushing boundaries and expanding horizons. and also, i'm like the only one my age in this entire city who actually codes, builds projects in PUBLIC, and networks like i do on LinkedIn (probably because they're all in on JEE prep). it's a superpower, really, accompanied by a lot of loneliness.

now we approach the end of today's ramble. being an outsider is multi-faceted, to say the least.

thanks for reading.

and yeah this marks the end of month 1 in India. only 23 more to go.